I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
