# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
