yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
