yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize