I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
