Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
