Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This girl is more easily done than said...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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