i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
