weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
