We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
