is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
