What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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