somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
