did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
