Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
