dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
