I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
