Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You made out with two different species that night
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
