I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
