oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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