i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
