I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
