dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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