Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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