just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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