When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
