the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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