What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
wow bdsm is so cute
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
