I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
