I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize