Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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