Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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