ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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