This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You ever have a fart follow you around?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
