At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
