just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
