He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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