Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
