we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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