I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
