Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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