Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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