and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize