booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
