I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
