remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
