New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
