Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize