Need sex. Gaining weight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
