yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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