Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
