At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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