i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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