and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
