im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
