Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
