Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
