I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
