what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It was confusing and full of hummus
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
