He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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