dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Still dying that you shit outside
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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