dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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