i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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