Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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