I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
