Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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