what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
