whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
