she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize