You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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