Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
