it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize