um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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