no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize