so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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