It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
