Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize