Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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