New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize