Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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