Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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