I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My dick has a subreddit
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
