What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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