She's JV to your varsity
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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